I wince remembering when you ask me out the first time. At that moment, my eyes were wide open and my mouth was ajar. That jump, that prance, that decision makes me squint with disgrace. It is like looking directly at the sun.
Laughter /
Laughter is the best medicine. Is that why I am in so much pain? I'm always crying over you, not a smile in sight.
Your jokes cause blisters /
One day I will look back and laugh. I do not know at what, but I am hoping it is at you. You are just not funny in a way that makes everything okay. Your jokes cause blisters, that pop and ooze without a giggle.
Thumb in door /
I slammed my thumb in the door so hard, I thought I smashed the bone. You dropped me on my head so hard, I thought I smashed my heart. Aching and dizzy, I took too many codiene and drank too much beer. Drunk and drugged, I shouldn't drive and shouldn't make decisions about closing doors or leaving you.
When will this fog lift? /
The dank weather and your bountiful praise shows me nothing. Both are equally opaque and suffocating. I can't see the ground from the window and I can't see your intentions in your eyes. When will this fog lift?
Snot /
I sneezed this morning and my heart came out of my nose. It slid and popped from my nostrils. Like a bad cold, you made me congested with a heavy head and a runny nose. All the tissues in the world couldn't keep me clear and clean of your snot.
Tulle /
While walking outside, I passed a young man in a dress made of tulle. He was so happy and free, wrapped in pink, nothing could slow him. At that moment, I knew I had to change my clothing and find a new man. Neither of which would be you.
Protest /
Protesting that you are being "romantic," you look past me and catch your own reflection. It is no coincidence that your love for me is really for you. Can I love you the way you do?
Stretched skin /
You stretch my skin over my face and cover my eyes. My wrinkles deepen and my nerves tighten. Tension builds up in my eyes preventing me from seeing the you I want to see. Like love, there are no prescriptions that can cure this situation. I would pay if it would fix my vision and mend my heart.
Hangover /
I woke with a hangover from too much of you. Dry mouth and throbbing head/heart, I stuck my finger down my throat to get you out of me. Bile never tasted so good.
My crackpot mind /
My crackpot mind doesn't understand that you aren't coming home anytime soon. Not exactly sharp as a tack, it hopes, pines, and looks for you. Blowing my brains out might be overkill, but it may be more effective than reason.
Pain in my chest /
I was woken by a pain in my chest. I didn't think of you, just about how to make it go away. Ginger or lemon or witch hazel? Was it my heart or was it my head? I savored this feeling. It reminded me that you are not the first thing in my mind.
Chapped lips /
Chapped lips sink ships. Your kisses are sloppy and insincere, leaving me wet and dry. Salvaging my mouth or pride is futile. That is why (because) I love you.
Love sick? /
The thermometer read 98.7 degrees which made no sense to me. I felt sick. I looked pale. My heart ached. What on earth could bring on this furry? You have made me love sick.
Swollen ankles /
Ankles swollen like bowling balls make it more difficult to chase you down. Maybe that is a good thing, otherwise I might catch you. Little things like ankles and fuss somehow make my life less and more tolerable.
Soot shouldn't be so plentiful /
Smoke spews from my heart so furiously my eyes water. Or, am I crying because you broke my heart the way you always do? Soot shouldn't be so painful. Ash shouldn't be so plentiful.
Sickly sweet /
I found this poem that had nothing to do with you. It speaks of cotton candy and lollipops and gum balls, all of the things that are sickly sweet. In mass they make my stomach turn. Maybe they like more like you than I thought.
Undo everything /
I found a scrap with your number sewn into it. The paper had been crumpled until soft like tissue, embroidered with ragged thread. I wanted to erase the paper memory of its folds and make it smooth again. I wanted to untie the thread a wind it back on the bobbin. Undo everything.
Looking for love online /
I look for love online and buy memory at the store. You'd think by now I would have blown my budget and crashed my machine. You are an expensive habit.
Shadow /
Bright light on the kitchen countertop makes a shadow that reminds me of your profile. The light shifts and your brow bone turns from soft to severe. The sun moves across the sky I'm forced to refocus my heart.